Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of NVC once said, “It’s not easy to teach people to be nonviolent. It is easy to teach people to repress.” There is a difference between actually being nonviolent and the experience of pushing down/away one’s feelings in order to move on and survive. Repressing emotions

Trauma is a deeply distressing experience that can have a profound impact on an individual’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being. In response to trauma, our minds and bodies often develop coping mechanisms to protect us from further harm. These are known as trauma responses, and understanding them is crucial for

I hear critiques around Nonviolent Communication, or NVC, all the time. I also pretty much always have a reasonable response to those critiques. I decided to look up the most common critiques and respond to them here, because as someone who teaches and practices NVC regularly, I know how powerful

Okay okay, I know this seems like a sales pitch-y thing, and I promise you that while this *might* get The Bigbie Method some new empathy gym members, my intention for this is to simply share why I love the Empathy Gym (or EG for short) because unless they’ve been

Top-down and bottom-up approaches are two different perspectives on how trauma can affect an individual and how therapeutic interventions can address trauma. These approaches are often used in the field of psychology and psychotherapy to understand and treat trauma-related issues. Top-Down Approach The top-down approach focuses on the cognitive and

I often hear the advice to “be true to your feelings” or “feel your feelings”. For the most part, I think this is wise advise. People who have more awareness around their feelings and have more specific language to describe it tend to be better at emotional regulation and dealing

Anyone on their Nonviolent Communication (NVC) journey, whether they are first learning to implement it into their daily life, or have been doing so for many years, will likely encounter someone who is resistant to their use of NVC. Usually, this person is someone who is accustomed to hearing the

This is likely in the top 10 pieces of advice I give to my students of Nonviolent Communication, and even some of my therapy clients: living your truth and leading by example is much more effective than lecturing others into adopting your philosophies. In other words, walk the walk more

The start of the school year, often accompanied by fresh notebooks and eager faces, can paradoxically also usher in an overwhelming tidal wave of stress and anxiety for teachers and students alike. As teachers prepare to step into their classrooms, armed with lesson plans and aspirations, they also find themselves

In the bustling hallways of educational institutions, conflict is an inevitable part of daily life. From trivial disagreements to more significant disputes, students encounter a myriad of challenges in their social interactions. In such a dynamic environment, fostering conflict resolution skills becomes paramount to promoting a positive and harmonious school

In the bustling world of education, where rules and discipline often take center stage, a gentle yet transformative approach emerges—Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Educators, administrators, and parents, have long grappled with how to effectively handle rule-breaking incidents in schools. Traditionally, reprimanding students for their misconduct has been the norm, aiming to

In our society, when someone makes a mistake or engages in inappropriate behavior, it’s natural to think of consequences and punishments as interchangeable terms. However, there is a significant distinction between these two concepts that often gets overlooked. Understanding the difference between consequences and punishments is crucial, especially when it

In a world teeming with complexities and uncertainties, it is all too easy to fall into the trap of blaming others when things go awry. From a young age, we are conditioned to seek out culprits for our misfortunes, often overlooking the profound impact that blame can have on both

I have taught Nonviolent Communication to hundreds of people, and I so frequently I hear some version of this: “I want to be able to give empathy to a person in a conflict situation, but in doing so, I do not want them to think that I am agreeing with

Self-awareness is one of the best gifts you can give to those around you. Self-awareness can help you to recognize communication patterns, including how you express yourself and how you perceive and interpret others’ messages. With self-awareness, you can adjust your approach to be more effective and considerate, leading to

I want to preface by saying that this post is much more personal than all of the other posts from this blog to date. Typically, this blog features tips and educational pieces about Nonviolent Communication, restorative practices, and empathy. Today, I’m trying something a little different and sharing some personal

Have you ever found yourself in a situation in which you really want someone to just understand your point of view, but they can’t seem to get it? You try and try to get your message across, and all you want is an experience of being heard, but it just

Most people think being empathetic means feeling the same thing that another person feels, or having sympathy for them, or agreeing with what they say, but actually, none of that is true. You can be empathetic towards someone and experience a completely different set of feelings from what that person

Intentions behind actions and words matter. Intentions are a person’s why for doing or saying everything they do or say. Neither actions nor words would exist without the intention that births them. Understanding someone’s intentions is integral to seeing a person for who they actually are rather than for what

I am currently doing some Nonviolent Communication related work in a school that is known for students getting in fights with each other. If it isn’t daily, fights certainly happen weekly, and it isn’t because these kids are “bad” or “unruly”. It’s because they have trauma and fighting is the